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Monday, June 09, 2008

My Day as a Jew in New Jersey

The following was transcribed (with minor corrections) from a notebook at 1:12 AM on June 7, 2008. It was written earlier that day.

Wow! The act of writing: keyboardless, wireless, computerless. Pen to paper... Notebook: $2, 2 pens the same price. Plus about $4 to sit in Popeye's AC comfort and suck on a leg and a thigh. I bet there'll be a grease spot... or two... on this page before I'm finished. The only problem: transcribing it... but it's a lot lighter than lugging the laptop.

I like being a Jew: I went to a Torah dedication today. Celebration in a local restaurant... with a buffet. The last letters of the Torah were outlined, but unfinished. The scribe was there. The hundred or so people at the celebration... one-by-one... get their own letter. Me too. We don't actually write the letter... the scribe does that. We only touch the pen... a quill actually... that writes the letter. Mine was a TOV.

People at the celebration are all yarmulke-wearing (men), but other than that... beards... or not. Fringes (tzitziot?) or not. Black coats and payes... or not. It's everything. Everybody is a friend. Even if you never met them before. The rabbi hugging everyone (men) as if old friends.

There is NO HATE. NO POLITICS. Just an out-pouring of love that makes me understand the place of religion in the world. And why people need it. The rabbi waved to me when I came in early. I was a bit depressed... Mom's going into hospice... but the scene cheered me up. Better than my family... a new family. No sibling rivalry here.

Besides the food (food? Come on, these ARE Jews. There MUST be food.) There are the alliyas, and when the ink is dry, dancing in the street... literally... Following a 1959 Cadillac convertible... under police escort... the rabbi, and HIS rabbi.. and the 80-something year old scribe... dancing away... down the restaurant driveway... into the street... holding hands... a giant ring-around-the-rosie... with no one falling down. (G-d forbid!) All for a book! This joy... this celebration... all for a book!! Yowsah!

I have to leave while they're dancing in the street. Hospice papers to sign. But the ceremony and the way they treat me pick up my day... Here's a book club I can live with.

I hate being a Jew: That was the name of an article by Debbie Goad in ANSWER ME! Magazine. Number 2, I think. Right now I'm reading SHIT MAGNET, an incredible book by her former hubby, Jim Goad. Enough of that. Let's talk about me.

Israel has wrecked Judaism. It has changed the religion of lefties, commies, social justice, peaceniks... to the religion of rightwing Neo-cons. Let's face it. The U.S. didn't invade Iraq for oil. The oil situation only got worse after the invasion. The U.S. invaded for Israel.

Barak Obama will not lose the election because he's a Negro. He'll lose because his minister said he (the minister) was never harmed by a Muslim.

Only only one country's lobby had the power to command a speech from EVERY major political candidate. (Hint: it wasn't Palestine... but that's not a country, is it?)

The old right-wingers who were also anti-Jewish... are either switching sides or finding themselves isolated by the Rush Limbaughs and Pat Robertsons nursing at the cleft between Israel's buttocks.

I'm not talking about ISRAELIS here. There are tons of anti-war, pro-Palestine Israelis. In fact, a hell of a lot of Israelis ARE Palestinian. In fact, a higher percentage of Israelis are anti-(current incarnation) Israel than are American Jews. That's why I hate being one of them.

I think I'm written out. This stay in Popeye's is reaching its end. Five hundred words, I figure. Not really enough... but even a daughter is better than nothing. Time to get up, piss, sign the papers to condemn mom to a quick death... at lease convince dad to sign them. I'm glad I had that Torah boost. I might never have made it... might not yet.

hospice at noon
mom too
knows the time

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